I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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