before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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