I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
