I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
