dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize