Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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