the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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