before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
