I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
