Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
