i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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