I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
