As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
