I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
