It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
