Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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