haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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