What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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