If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
