I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
