shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
