The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
