tell your sister to shave her snatch
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
