i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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