There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
