a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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