the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
