Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
