I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
4 words: hood of his car
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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