did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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