If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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