his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
