I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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