I just threw up on my dentist
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
