Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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