Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need moral support for this bender
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
