I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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