i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
