He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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