Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
