Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
