I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
