it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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