I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
