i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
