There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you had me at cake vodka
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
