Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
where does the pee come out of this thing
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
