Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize