We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I intend to get homeless drunk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
