That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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