She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
