i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
