i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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