I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
