escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wish my penis had a tongue
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
