oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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