Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
