It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
