Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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