My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize