I bet he comes in French.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
