she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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