i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
