New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
