i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We are two peas in an std pod
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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