Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
