Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Couch. On fire.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
